Amends allow me to also right the wrongs I may continue to make. It is freedom from behaviors that do not live up to the new life in sobriety I am choosing to live. A sober living community can allow you to return to a semi-normal life, but at the same time, the environment it provides gives you the accountability you need to remain sober. Your donation will provide a scholarship to someone in recovery, supporting them through the first few months of sober living in one of our partner organizations. To learn how your gift supports our scholarship, click below.

Also, each recipient must agree to donate back 25% of the total awarded amount within a year’s time. Our contract has to be signed and returned before the first month funds are given to the sober living facilities. State how you are taking personal responsibility for the hurt you’ve caused. Making amends means apologizing but also goes one step further—doing everything in your power to repair the damage, restore the relationship, and/or, replace what you took. If you’re writing a letter, whether sending or sharing it in person, spend some time reflecting on and sharing the actions you’re taking to redress the wrong(s) done. A 12-step program is designed to encourage long-term sobriety, by fostering a spirituality for recovery.

What Do You Say When Making Amends? – The Step 9 Amends Letter

Early in my recovery, I learned neither my son nor my husband was listening to anything I said. Even so, you will have done all that you can to take responsibility for the past—and there’s a level of peace and freedom in that as well. How the other person chooses to respond to our amends is out of our control.

Carrillo, who lives in El Sereno, has criticized De León and Santiago for missing several of the contest’s candidate forums. At the same time, she has had her own recent brush with controversy — an arrest in November for DUI, following a late-night collision in which she drove into two parked vehicles. De León, Santiago and Carrillo also support the use of Municipal Code 41.18, which allows council members to create no-encampment zones at libraries, senior centers and other “sensitive” locations. living amends By Monday, labor groups, the American Beverage Assn. and others had spent a combined $629,000 on mailers and other efforts to elect Santiago, a onetime De León ally who appeared with him regularly at political events before the audio scandal. De León, a resident of Eagle Rock, has spent the past 15 months attempting to mount a comeback in the 14th District, which takes in such neighborhoods as Boyle Heights, El Sereno and much of downtown, including Little Tokyo, the Arts District and Skid Row.

What Makes You Healthy 2022 Graphic Design Winner- Kaitlyn Shoenthal Mug

But what happens when the person you need to make amends with dies before you’re able to apologize and change your ways? Unfortunately, this scenario plays out much too often in the lives of people who didn’t get a chance to correct their mistakes and past behaviors in time. And when it comes to our family and children, we might be particularly interested in speeding that process along. Sometimes, making direct amends with someone may lead to further harm. For example, if you are estranged from a loved one and they will not see you, your indirect amends may involve reflecting on and modifying the behaviors that led to the estrangement.

• Completing Step 9 is the next step forward in recovery, regardless of how the other person responds.
• Avoid initiating a conversation if the other person is distracted or upset by something unrelated.
• Over the years, in small bits and pieces, I have been able to share small pearls of my Al-anon wisdom.
• Here is $200, and if I’m incorrect and owe you more, I will repay the remainder.

It goes beyond simply apologizing to taking steps to right a wrong. Whenever possible, those in recovery are encouraged to make direct amends face-to-face with those they’d harmed while living in addiction. In Twelve Step recovery from alcohol or other drug addiction, a direct amend refers to the act of personally addressing issues with people who have been harmed by our behavior or our treatment of them as a result of addiction.

Examples of Making Amends: Living Amends

The origin of living amends in modern use relates to addiction recovery and substance abuse treatment. However, in the context of grief recovery, David Kessler, in his book Finding Meaning, talks about the importance of living amends as a tool for grief healing. In particular, he discusses how to heal when the person we need to make amends with is no longer living.

So be sure to talk with your sponsor and/or support group about your plan in the event that you need support. Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss. Notice the words “right to resentment” and “underserved qualities” in there?